Things I've learned, re-learned, or realized in the past few weeks:
- Procrastination really is my worst enemy. No matter how much time I have to accomplish a task, I will probably waste about 80% of it before I actually start working.
- If your car is traveling at approximately 60 mph toward the south and a wild turkey is flying at approximately 5 mph toward the north, and if your car and the wild turkey collide, this could result in your driver's side view mirror being abruptly and forcefully detached from your car. The wild turkey, however, will be fine.
- "But I'm doing comprehensive exams" is not actually a good reason to suspend your diet for approximately two weeks.
- You can't suspend your diet for approximately two weeks and expect that there we be no adverse effects (i.e., gaining 5 pounds).
- Rolos are not as good as I remember. They tasted much better when I was a kid.
- McDonald's french fries dipped in sweet & sour sauce, Braums mixes, Chick-fil-a chicken nuggets and waffle fries, and Heath bars are as good as I remember.
- I can only carry about 9 library books without the aid of some kind of bag or container. Any more than this requires an extra trip.
- Spending 8 hours a day in a dimly lit 4' x 4' cubicle in the library could probably be employed as a successful method of torture. Put terrorists in a study carrel in Mullins Library, and they'll probably be talking in just a few short days. We get valuable intel, and they get to keep their fingers and toes. It's what we call a win-win. For speedier results, force them to read New Directions for Child Development while in said study carrel.
- Speaking of win-win, your students will really like you if you extend the due dates for two assignments, push back the date of informative speeches, and give them a "library day" to catch up on everything.
- UPS employs some of the least intelligent people on the planet.
- Having to cite everything you write is absolutely maddening (Norris & Kern, 2003).
- Writing a paper about Walker, Texas Ranger is not as fun as it sounds, even if the episode contains a good guy getting whacked by a drug dealer and the ensuing avenging of the good guy's murder.
Well, I think that's about it for now. For better or worse, I'll be done with comps on Friday, at which point I will be extremely interested in getting out of this study carrel and having some interaction with humans! (In other words, call me & let's go do something fun that doesn't involve writing about 142 journal articles.)
